THE MAN WHO WANTED TO BE EDWARD G. ROBINSON

Homer J.Hubbard

Homer J.Hubbard

In this 1946 episode of the SUSPENSE radio series,Edward G. Robinson plays himself and also the soft spoken, shy Homer J.Hubbard.
Homer has a nagging and domineering wife,Ada. He tells his story:
“Ada and I had gone to the movies to see a picture called Little Caesar,with an actor in it I had never heard of before…..I lived that picture.I was Little Caesar,I was Edward G.Robinson. I assumed his personality, calm,self assured.tough. The world of reality ceased to exist.
I saw every Edward G. Robinson film that came out – it was after seeing Brother Orchid for the third time. It was right then I decided to kill her.”
(Ada had been laughing at his imitation of Edward G. And saying, ” Why don’t you imitate Donald Meek, or Shirley Temple!”

Homer goes to buy a gun and gives his name as Edward G. Robinson – “You heard me,mug!”
He discovers that Mr Robinson is going to address the hobbyist convention in town and he goes to see the great man.
“It was a terrible disappointment. He wasn’t tough or hard boiled or anything like it. He seemed to be a mild mannered man. A little shy,almost like me. He talked about orchids and modern art.
Later I went to the hotel where I knew Mr.Robinson was staying.”

The star takes the time to talk to Homer,thinking he’s a fan.(This is where it gets interesting. Edward G. talking to Edward G.!) He soon realises something is very much wrong with Mr. Hubbard when he shows him his gun and asks for advice in planning the murder of his wife.

Playing up to him, Edward G. says,in his best Little Caesar voice , “A Tommy gun,that’s the only thing to use. I will help you but it’s gotta be done my way. it’s gotta be done right.I’ve got a gat at home,perfect for the job.I’ve knocked off Jimmy Cagney,Humphrey Bogart,Orson Welles.
What’s a little murder between friends.”

Mr Robinson sends Homer an automatic in the post and tells him to wait till the following night,saying, “You can cool off in the hide-out I’ve got – get it?”

Of course the gun isn’t loaded and the famous actor gets Ada to look at her husband with a new respect when he speaks to her on the phone and tells her she is lucky to have Homer,his pal!

As Homer ends his story,”I’m a regular Little Caesar around town. As you might say,what’s a little joke between pals!”

Such an original comedy story. And Edward G.actually does three voices – his own, Homer and Little Caesar!

2 responses »

  1. What an original idea! It certainly sounds (excuse the pun!) as though it would work really well on radio. Reminds me a bit of the plot of “Scarlet Street”?

  2. It’s available to listen to on Archive.org
    Yes, Homer’s wife is indeed like Edward G.’s shrew of a wife in Scarlet Street.

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